No one intends to get caught having a secret affair, but sadly, it happens.
Changes in behavior, getting caught in lies, or getting ratted out by a friend are all common reasons that the spouse finds out about the affair, and itís never a pretty site.
There are sure to be outbursts of yelling and tantrums, and if left unchecked, it could lead to the destruction of the main relationship.
Getting caught having a secret affair is something that anyone entering into this type of relationship should seriously consider at the start so that they are prepared to deal with the repercussions in the best way possible, so that damage to the long term relationship is minimized.
So what do you need to know about getting caught having a secret affair before you actually get caught?
First of all, you need to know that no matter what you do or say, your partner is going to feel hurt.
They are going to be mad, upset, sad, embarrassed, disappointed, betrayed, angry and frustrated, and you have to let them express these emotions to you, no matter how painful it is.
Let your partner get their feelings out, let them be heard.
You really canít do anything to fix the damage youíve done until your partner has had a chance to say how they really feel.
Also realize that one of the emotions your partner is likely to feel is insecurity.
They are going to wonder why you needed to find someone else to fulfill your needs.
People that are prone to low self confidence and thoughts of self doubt are going to have a particularly hard time with this.
One of your main jobs after getting caught is going to be to reassure your partner that they are worthy of love and attention.
You may have to hurt your own character to do this, saying that you made a mistake or that you werenít missing something from them (even this is completely untrue).
But you cannot let them feel like you stepped out on them because they were unworthy or not enough.
And whatever you do, when you get caught, do not make the mistake of putting this on them.
Many good relationships are ruined because the cheater tells the spouse that it was their fault for not doing something or doing something that drove them crazy.
If you want to salvage the relationship with your committed partner, you must put the blame on yourself solely and remove any trace of resentment or want that you may have been feeling when you took on this relationship.
Nothing will prevent you from repairing the damage youíve already done by having a secret affair than blaming your spouse for the affair in the first place.
Now, if youíre careful, you will never have a need to worry about this stuff.
And honestly, preventing your spouse from finding out about your secret affair is the best thing that you could possibly do for your committed relationship.
But if it does happen, make sure youíre prepared to take the blame and ease your partners deepest insecurities.
If you can do this, you can salvage the relationship and earn your partnerís trust once again.