If youíre serious about having a secret affair, you really do need to plan ahead before the affair ever gets started.
You have to have an idea of what types of alibis you can have, you have to prepare meeting places and ways to get away for the night, you have to practice telling little fibs and lies from time to time, and you have to choose your secret affair partner wisely.
That might seem strange.
It might seem that you should pick your secret lover based on who you fall madly for that fills the gap of what you need from your marriage.
And while that is definitely important, picking someone for an affair takes a little bit more consideration than just attraction if you want the affair to remain secret.
One of the biggest considerations when picking a lover is their wants and desires and how compatible those are with your own.
If youíre only looking for someone for love making on the side and you pick a lover who is looking for a relationship, you could wind up in trouble.
That person will not be getting what they need from you, and a secret lover that is unhappy is a recipe for disaster as they could easily expose your secret and get you in heaps of trouble with your spouse.
So always make sure to find a partner for a secret affair that wants what you want and understands the limitations of the affair.
You also need to consider the affair partnerís level of discretion.
Some people can get away with a lover who simply doesnít call the house phone as their spouse spends much time away or isnít very engaged.
Others will need a lover that only calls between certain hours once a month or can only meet in a town 50 miles away or knows to delete all emails in case thereís trouble with a jealous spouse.
When courting a secret affair partner, make sure that their level of discretion matches your own and that are as capable of keeping the secret as you are.
Finally, you want to consider the personality of the lover and make sure that it works for the type of affair you wish to have.
If you arenít looking for an emotional connection but youíre secretly dating a highly emotional, clingy sort of person, no matter what assurances they may give you, thereís a chance that they wonít be satisfied with a physical only relationship or vice-versa.
This is important as a secret affair that does not go well or leaves the partner feeling jealous or angry or upset can be dangerous to you and your marriage.
So try and seek out another person that not only wants the type of affair that you want, but seems emotionally capable of that arrangement.
If you take the time and the proper care to pick out the right partner for a secret love affair, thereís a much greater chance that you will succeed in having a healthy, satisfying, positive experience, but in keeping the secret from your spouse as well.
And then, you can enjoy the best of both worlds at your leisure.