Secret affairs can be wild and wonderful, and they can help fill a void in your current relationship.
But whether it was attention, sex or emotional connection that you were seeking in this new lover, when youíve fulfilled that need, the affair will have to come to an end.
And how you go about ending the affair is almost, if not more important than how you managed the secret relationship, although very few people think of it this way.
What you have to consider is that the person you are having the secret affair with holds great power over you as they know your biggest secret, one that can create serious trouble and strife in your committed relationship.
If you end the relationship on a bad note, your secret lover might choose to disclose your indiscretion to your current committed partner, either directly or indirectly, and a secret affair revealed in this way is extremely hurtful to your spouse or committed partner.
So what can you do to ensure that your secret affair ends on a positive note?
Well the first thing you can do is to make sure that you discuss the end of your relationship with your lover from the very beginning.
Itís hard to do as the early days of an attraction are not ideal for difficult conversations that are awkward and uncomfortable, but it is of the utmost importance that you make it very clear from day one that this secret relationship will have to come to an end.
If your lover harbors hopes that this will turn into something more, that you might leave your spouse for them, they will become attached, and thatís when things get messy.
You may also want to discuss things that are off limits once the relationship is over, such as contacting your partner or friends or posting about your affair on social media, for example.
If you missed out on this conversation and have to end things with your lover, do
try to prepare them for it as much as possible and donít surprise them with an
abrupt breakup. Simply cutting off all contact or ignoring them entirely can
backfire as they may just show up at your workplace or home and cause a scene.
Always be sure to sit down and have a serious conversation with your lover, and
be as sincere as possible.
You also need to make sure to completely shut the door on the affair in this final conversation.
Make it clear that this is the end, and that you have to have complete discretion from them moving forward.
If they harbor hope that you might get back together, they might try and sabotage your current relationship in an attempt to get you back.
Itís never pleasant ending a relationship, even a secret one that may be light and fun.
But if you take responsibility and are proactive, you can prevent any sort of hurt or misunderstanding that can lead to a bad ending to your affair.