Have you recently started up a new secret relationship or are looking to start one, but youíre worried about the consequences?
Secret relationships can actually be quite healthy and natural, and they can significantly benefit your health and happiness within your committed relationship, but only when done correctly.
So hereís some advice for those new to secret relationships.
Keep The Secret
The biggest thing to remember when starting a secret relationship is that it must remain a secret.
I know, that sounds obvious, but many people get so caught up in the excitement of the new affair that they forget this basic principle.
Make sure you donít tell anybody, not even your best friend.
You never know who they might tell, and word travels fast.
Also make sure to open a separate bank account, get a second phone, and always delete your emails and voicemails from your new lover.
If discovered by your spouse unexpectedly, it can do irreparable damage to your marriage, and your spouse will be beyond reasoning before you can explain the situation.
So always be safe with your secret and go above and beyond to stay covert.
Control Your Feelings
While part of the goal of having a secret relationship is to fulfill your emotional needs, something that can bring you great joy and excitement, it is important that you donít suddenly start acting completely differently around your spouse.
Yes, you may be more interested in love making with your spouse or you might be more happy overall, but let her in on these changes gradually.
A sudden shift may alert your spouse to a secret affair.
You may also want to have some sort of alibi for your shift in moods.
It might be a good idea to take up a new workout routine, hobby, or activity at the same time as you start your secret relationship.
Aside from giving you room in your schedule to secretly meet with your new lover, it can be something you point to when your spouse notices the changes in your mood and demeanor.
Most times the person having the secret affair is the one to actually disclose this to their spouse, mostly due to guilt and a feeling that they deserve to be punished.
But you must realize that secret relationships are healthy and natural.
If you are missing something in your marriage: attention, love, whatever it might be, you have every right to go out and get these things to make yourself whole again.
It can actually heal your relationship in the long run, and it can give you the space you need to fix the underlying issues in your marriage.
So don't let your own sense of guilt do you in.
Concentrate on what your marriage stands to gain by having this secret affair and realize that you do deserve being happy.