Secret affairs are always risky, particularly when your lover is someone that lives close to you or moves around in the same circles.
But that risk can be increased even further when the person youíre having the affair with is someone you work with.
Secret affairs often pop up at work because those hours spent away from home are perfect for forging new relationships and kindling new attractions, but the closeness of having to work together can create some real problems.
So how do handle the situation when a secret love affair arises at the office?
The biggest mistake that most people make when having a secret affair with someone from work is letting that secret affair make an appearance at work.
It might sound exciting or romantic to meet your lover in a deserted hallway during lunch or exchange dirty memos with the office mail, but these interactions, no matter how small they may seem, can be your demise.
There are a lot of people at the workplace, and your co-workers will know what is going on if you let them.
As tempting as it might be, keep the affair out of the workplace and donít let yourself fall into the fantasy of having the affair actually take place at work.
If (and when) you do have to interact with your secret lover at work, make sure you have pre-established boundaries and rules that you have both agreed to follow, and make sure both you and your secret lover understand how to act cool.
Your coworkers will take note if you blush or giggle every time you see your lover in a meeting or you end up getting a little too touchy-feely at the end of the meeting.
The best way to prevent these little clues from popping up and giving you away to your coworkers is to just make sure that each partner understands that you are not lovers at work and that you have to take the situation in stride as best as possible.
Perhaps the most difficult part about having a secret affair at work is the awkward moment when that affair finally ends.
You and your lover still have to see and interact with one another at work, and that can cause some serious tension.
Make sure you address this with your lover before the affair really heats up.
If you donít think this person can handle the breakup with grace, stop it before it starts.
Itís not worth your job (and your marriage, as word at work will spread back home through coworkers that know your spouse) just for a little bit of fun on the side.
Even the most calm, collected people can find a situation like this difficult, so be sure to talk about it before it happens so that the breakup of your love affair isnít also the breakup of your work life.